Super quick way to self-identify addiction. Isolation, negative consequences and lack of control. If all three of these things exist as it relates to any one behavior in your life, you can feel confident that you fall somewhere on the spectrum of addiction.

Isolation. Do you find that you are increasingly isolated? Are you eliminating people from your life? Are others reducing the time they are spending with you? Are you declining social invitations so that you can spend more time alone, oftentimes spent acting out in your unwanted behavior? Increased isolation is a great indicator of addiction. Sobriety and healthy sustainable living are impossible without community.

Negative consequences. Are you finding that your life is impacted negatively by this unwanted behavior? Maybe it's a loss of sleep, spending more money than you would like to, feelings of shame and guilt that you cannot shake, impacting relationships… Addictive behavior will always show itself to impact in a negative way. Even if you think about the addiction cycle, the first stage which is preoccupation, you still have not turned toward using, or acting out, but simply living in a world of preoccupation, a fantasy world, can have considerable negative consequences, right? So whether you are simply fantasizing about acting out, or spending time acting out, any time you are finding negative consequences in your life from a certain behavior or thinking this is another sign that they're very well may be an addiction at play.

Lack of control. Lastly, have you ever tried to stop, or simply reduce, these unwanted behaviors and found yourself to be unable? If you have tried to quit and cannot, you have become aware that this behavior has more control over you than you do it. This is often a very discouraging realization, understanding your limits and degree of powerlessness. Oftentimes, we simply try to cut back a little bit, and if you fail in your attempt at reducing the behavior, that can also be a helpful indicator that there may be an addiction at play… Or rather that there is very likely an addiction at play.

Now put all three of these together and you have achieved the perfect storm of addiction…

ISOLATION

NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES

LACK OF CONTROL

I commend you for taking the time to assess this in yourself. A couple of my favorite sayings, are "my best thinking got me drinking" and "nothing changes if nothing changes.“

You have tried your best and found yourself short of where you would like to be. If you would like to try to continue working on your own to solve these problems, I would recommend looking for a change that you have never attempted before… A new intervention. If you would like support, and a new perspective, I am always more than happy to help, please feel free to book a one-on-one session, free consult or a group here.

You can always reach out via email at blair@bpbcounseling.com or text directly to (617)935-6570, I am more than happy to help in any way I can.