VIDEO: Couples & Partner Therapy
Healing After Infidelity: How Couples Therapy Can Help Rebuild Trust and Intimacy
It can be incredibly difficult experiencing partner betrayal trauma due to infidelity, compulsive deceit or lying, addictive or problematic sexual behaviors (including porn addiction and sex addiction), the emotional and relational consequences can feel devastating. At BPB Counseling Group - based in Boston, Massachusetts, our amazing Couples, Partner and Individuals therapist, Jess Benedetto, specializes and excels in treating clients who are navigating the difficult journey of affair repair, rebuilding trust, and returning to intimacy.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: A Path to Healing
Jess utilizes Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), an evidence-based approach that encourages acceptance of challenging emotions and commitment to meaningful, value-driven actions. Instead of avoiding the pain and discomfort associated with betrayal, ACT helps clients face and tolerate their emotions, ultimately reducing reliance on harmful coping mechanisms like compulsive behaviors or repeated infidelity.
Mindfulness and Cognitive Defusion
Mindfulness techniques form a core part of Jess’ approach in working with clients. Central to this approach is ‘Cognitive Defusion’ where clients observe their thoughts and feelings without immediately reacting. This practice allows individuals and couples to slow down automatic/reflexive responses that fuel distrust, retrigger a hypervigiliance response and further betrayal. By recognizing that you are not defined by every thought or urge, you can regain control and align with your core values again, or even possibly for the first time.
Understanding the Stages of Change
It’s generally accepted that all change is unique to the individual or couple and also that change isn’t linear, especially when recovering from betrayal trauma or infidelity. Jess helps clients consider their relationship with the transtheoretical model of behavior change, which assesses your readiness to embrace new behaviors and maintain healthier relationship patterns. Even if motivation fluctuates, our therapeutic approach supports your progress at every stage, helping you sustain positive change. Additionally, when considering what a recovery and healing timeline may look like, we’ve created this helpful graphic that represents a general concept for a healing path.
Harm Reduction and Relapse Prevention Planning
Healing, growth and sustainable health following relationship boundary violations like deceit, infidelity and other problematic behavior patterns leading to a break and trust and often betrayal trauma often involves many extreme highs and lows. In her approach to this work Jess helps clients anticipate and manage triggers, both internal (stress, insecurity, painful memories) and external (specific people or situations), addressing head-on the concept of relapse into old patterns and develops paths that form a ‘new relationship contract’ and often times individuals work to create a ‘Relapse Prevention Plan’ as outlined in Blair’s ‘The Sexual Integrity Workbook.’
Relapse is not to be feared, but to be openly discussed, identifying underlying needs to be addressed and prepared for and for individuals to achieve self-expertise so as to develop an empowered path forward, not a fearful hope for simple avoidance - which is never sustainable long-term.
Addressing Trauma and Its Impact
Trauma frequently underlies compulsive and harmful behaviors seen in infidelity and betrayal trauma. Jess provides a compassionate, trauma-informed therapeutic environment, fostering safety and trust. This approach allows couples and individuals to face, understand, and heal the deeper wounds that may have contributed to dysfunctional relationship patterns historically.
Supporting Both Partners' Healing Journeys
Understanding that recovery looks different for everyone is crucial. While one partner may be ready to commit to change, the betrayed partner might just be beginning their healing process. Jess provides individual work to aid the partner in their process as well as couples therapy that acknowledges and supports each partner's unique path and pace while establishing a common goal (Gottman Method) in the pairs‘ shared dynamic. Through empathy, patience, and guidance, couples can find renewed intimacy and rebuild trust.
Start Your Healing Journey Today
Past pains, relationship violations, betrayal trauma and infidelity do not have to define your relationship. With professional guidance from Jess Benedetto you can begin to understand what has happened and why, then work to repair the damage, begin healing quickly, clarify your path forward and rebuild trust, and rediscover intimacy in a healthy and sustainable way.
Ready to begin your journey toward meaningful change?
Schedule a session with Jess Benedetto, Partner and Couples Therapist at BPB Counseling, and take the first step toward healing and rebuilding your relationship today.